I will readily admit to the things that I struggle with in being a mother. One of the more glaring weaknesses is letting them go. I try very hard to be "normal" and to not give into my every impulse to keep them home! home school! more time with mom!
Last year I did not send Milli to preschool because I just really wanted to soak in every second with her before she went to Kindergarten. And I had similar plans for Liam - keeping him with me as long as possible. Last year was just so dreamy, waking up with no schedule, doing whatever we wanted, doing my
own preschool with them that mostly involved making cookies and art lessons.
A nagging feeling came in August that I should put him in preschool, a feeling that I kept at bay as long as possible. For me, it would mean some kind of personal failure. (*note to all mothers - I didn't say that putting your kids in preschool means you don't love them, don't want to be with them, or that if you do, you are a failure - I speak for
my own unique situation.) Failure because I really wanted to spend time with him. But there finally came a time when I admitted to myself that he needed it. He needed less glued-to-mom's hip time. And with the ever growing demands of motherhood, I could use the few hours to clean.
So to preschool he went. I didn't cry when Milli went to Kindergarten, but the entire first week that Liam was in preschool, I just went home and cried. (While I hurriedly scrubbed toilets, of course). And two months into it, I am still having a hard time.
But I will somewhat unwillingly admit that it's been a great decision. He is in heaven at preschool. And with those few hours to clean, when the kids get home, I can actually spend time with them that is all fun and no "..just let me run and unload the dishwasher...and wipe off the counters."
So of course the instant Liam entered preschool I began hounding his teachers about when I could come and do projects with his class. Today was the first day. We made a craft that my kindergarten teacher made with me. The one and only craft I remember from elementary school. The craft my mom saved and put out every halloween until I was 19 and the poor thing got lost in a move.

A dowel stuck in some plaster of paris, construction paper clothes. The kids made the pumpkin heads, added patches and hay coming out of the arms and legs. I'll admit that I look at it and think of my own childhood and my mother who never wanted to hurt her kids feelings, so she hung onto it. Way past the point of a safe throw away. And I think of my son who was beyond thrilled to have his mom with him in school. Who whispered at me all day "I love you mom," and caught kisses that I blew at him when he was supposed to be listening. And showed everyone in class how his cape could fly out.

**and on a lighter note, I'm glad to see other people have to ask him a million times to do something - "listen" "be quiet" "no pushing". Made me feel better about my decision!